Darth the Pickup Artist

Little Guitarist

Gypsy Dances With Death

In the spirit of Halloween, a mysterious image.....

REVOLVER/BOERGER

Taking inspiration from the famous Beatles' album cover, 'Revolver' -their most iconic album covers after the even more famous Sgt. Pepper cover - I created this image of myself and peppered it with various things I like to draw. A kind of 'welcome to my world' bit of whimsy.

Open For Debate....

Are China and the U.S. on a collision course that will lead to conflict over control of the world's remaining fossil fuel reserves and other dwindling resources? Or will their partnership shape the remainder of the 21st century in ways that positively address the many challenges we face? I don't have the answers, and neither does anybody else! But it is certainly a question worth debating, don't you think?

I will be doing just that (taking the side that resource depletion indicates Sino-U.S. conflict), along with master debater James Papatones.

The event is September 25th, from 7:30, and it is sure to be a stimulating and thought provoking evening. Hope to see you there!

New Book Project in the Works

These watercolors are for a children's book I am working on now with a Japanese author.

The title, if it were to be translated into English, would be "Where Is Everybody?"

Lady Sings The Beatles

Well, I'm no Jimmy Kimmel in the impersonation department, but I do a passable Billie Holliday. Two great departed artists, Billie and George Harrison, find their way to what I think would have been a very nice cover of a great song. Hope you feel likewise.
Link below:

Lady Sings The Beatles

Upcoming Book! "The Angel Corps"

Here is the cover design, still a work in progress, for a book that I will release in the late summer or early fall of this year, titled "The Angel Corps; The Necessity of Putting Others First"

The publisher will be InkNBeans Press

I will post more information as it develops!

'Letting Go' is now a video

Please click on the link to see my newest movie, narrated by Matthew Carlsen, on Youtube.

Letting Go on Youtube

Best Intentions

Glib and insouciant, the president makes jokes about the madness he’s unleashed,

surrounded by his paymasters, who, rubbing sweaty palms together, gather round a feast;

Meanwhile men and women die on foreign fields; 

war is a commodity and death is all it yields

And it’s all over in time,

We lose our bodies first, and then we lose our minds

And when we lose our memories we rush to get in line

And rejoin the dance

We spin round and round,

and round and round

Till black is white and up is down

Meanwhile...

somewhere on Saturn a wise and precocious child stares in disbelief

At a holograph that shows a world not far away where battles rage and hatreds never cease

Moved to act, he vows to heal the suffering he sees; 

makes his deal with destiny, and leaves his life of ease

And it’s all over in time,

He sheds his body first, and then he sheds his mind

And shedding last his memory, rushes to get in line

And enjoin the dance

spinning round and round,

and round and round

and round 

Meanwhile...

hearts filled with gratitude, two parents gaze with pride upon their unexpected child

who is wise beyond his years, and very clear that he is here to serve a purpose that propels him from inside

Magically, it seems, he grows up in the public’s eyes; 

soon powerful men rush in and chart his stellar rise

And it's all over in time,

They push him forward till he's frontmost in the line

and, having drowned his memory in flattery and wine

they enjoin the dance

they spin round and round

and round and round

and round

Meanwhile….

he wonders why even now the stars seem to call to him, when he looks at the sky on winter nights

Could it be that he’s still the same child who long ago believed that he was sent to set the world aright?

And it’s all over in time,

We lose our bodies first, and then we lose our minds

And when we lose our memories we rush to get in line

And rejoin the dance..

and spin round and round and round and round and round......

Muses All Around Me!

Fairy Tails

Svengali

"I'll make you!", he promised the lovely young singer,

"the city will fall at your feet!"

As one who'd just moved from a provincial village,

and having scant portions to eat,

the girl was seduced by the vision he offered

of glamor and money and fame;

she'd striven and practiced

and mastered her voice,

and felt she deserved such acclaim;

she could sense he had power, an animal kind,

and would battle for her like a bull,

success in the Arts, after all, comes from smarts

of a kind not acquired at school;

The lust in his eyes; well, it was no surprise

every buck in her village had shown it;

a girl who has charms that few men can resist,

if she wishes to prosper, must own it

She had no intention of being his lover,

she'd engaged in such games long before;

a girl could, she knew, to a line make men hew

that would make her more master than whore

With clinking champagne flutes, the pair launched their mission

to make her the toast of the town;

between them was more than enough raw  ambition

to knock every obstacle down

In scarcely a year since the day of their meeting 

her fame, like a rocket, did soar;

she played Carmen, Aida, Tosca,

Olympia, Lucia di Lammermoor

To her all the doors of the city flew open

with he as her mentor and guide;

he'd offered to Paris its newest sensation, 

and his heart fleetly grew flush with pride

He began to imagine that through such success

not a debt, but her heart he had earned;

One night, in her dressing room, after a show

he attempted a kiss, but was spurned

"Heartless ingrate!" he sputtered in mounting rage,

"I'm taking back all that I gave you;

from your perch you shall topple, my haughty young fool,

and nothing on this earth will save you!"

And soon, as if some magic spell had been broken

his cruel prophecy was fulfilled;

her skin lost its luster, her beauty diminished

her once dulcet voice became shrill

New divas emerged to attract the town's interest

while she became yesterday's story;

she'd have gladly become his slave, body and soul,

in exchange for her lost former glory

But, where was the man who had given, then taken

and in whom all hope for her lay?

Their last exchange closed with a  kiss and a curse,

and she'd heard not a word since that day

And no word would she hear, for the man disappeared

why, all traces of him had been scattered;

had it all been a dream? So, to her, did it seem

as her world fell around her and shattered

No aria rises to offer redemption,

there's naught but these words on a page;

Two phantoms, laid low by Desire, in silence

now tragically drift off the stage

A Menagerie Mystery Tour II

Let's take a menagerie mystery tour

through the animal songs of the Fabulous Four!

T'was one of the Beatles' most endearing features

to pen many songs about non-human creatures

So, here they are! Paul's, George's, Ringo's and John's

critters who crawled in and out of their songs!

Man's Best Friend; there's a fine place to start,

so let's meet the sheepdog who melted Paul's heart;

Martha, his love, always kept him delighted,

and yapped from on high when the good Sir was knighted

on The Beatles' White album, a black bird gets mentioned

it's Paul's allegory about racial tensions

And then there is Rocky, the feisty raccoon

who finds his salvation above a saloon

John gives us Henry the Horse, and his waltz

in his whimsical circus song, laden with shmaltz

"I Am The Walrus!", obscurely sang John

causing listeners to ponder just WHAT he was on

curiouser and curiouser the song's lyrics grow

till penguins are kicking poor E. Allen Poe!

Before "Happiness Is A Warm Gun"'s refrain

a lizard slinks by on a slick window pane

and later, to prove he was nobody's flunky

John sang that he'd nothing to hide, nor his monkey

George, feeling righteous; t'was often his wont 

penned 'Piggies', the rich upper classes to taunt

while Ringo's no wordsmith, he (begging his pardon)

still managed an octopus tending his garden

and still there were more of their animal cronies;

George followed a Blue Jay, while John dug a pony;

Elephants, tigers, a bulldog or two

The Beatles bequeathed us a musical zoo!

And though it was love songs that gave them their fame

let's recall that a crawler provided their name!

The Admiral & The Prince of Whales

The Admiral & The Prince of Whales

I'm a seafaring admiral!

well, I'm the Prince of Whales;

let's chat a bit, for - I'm sure of it -

we both have thrilling tales

I fought with sea serpents thrice your size

while my crew mates quivered in fear;

t'was how I got my admiral's stripes

and a scar upon my ear

I plunged the deepest, darkest depths

quite eager to explore, 

and there I saw a giant squid

with twenty limbs, or more!

I've battled pirates wickeder than

devils beyond the Styx,

took all I had to overcome

their cunning pirate tricks

my songs have brought the angels down

from Paradise to hear

a golden harp they gave me;

it's a treasure I hold dear

a wave once rose to drown my ship

'twas higher than the sky

but I'm a seasoned sailing man,

victorious was I!

I've swum from pole to pole

and drunk from all the Seven Seas

all brine upon this turquoise pearl

I navigate with ease!

  

I too! I've tasted all

the ocean's bounties and its banes;

it's made me! Why, it's brine,

not blood, that courses through my veins!

Time's never wasted talking with

a gent who knows the sea!

Likewise, good prince; yet, leave I must

my mom is calling me!

Thomas Tobias Underwear & Penelope Lingerie

Thomas Tobias Underwear & Penelope Lingerie

set out at noon to take in the views,

and receive a few, I'd say!

They headed up Amsterdam Avenue,

and somewhere near John the Divine,

they chatted away at a sidewalk cafe

and reddened their cheeks with wine

It was something of a mystery

that the Museum of Natural History

would not let the couple inside

'Why, how can this be? What's more natural than we?"

But they took the letdown in stride.

They continued their lark,

and in Riverside Park

they gazed off at the GWB;

till strong winds off the river

caused Penny to shiver,

so they went off in search of tea

Beneath the Ansonia, a touch of pneumonia

caused Tom to beg off their visit to MOMA

and thus, they ended their expedition

without checking out the Chagall exhibition

The Elephant Goddess

I didn’t make my lovely ones so you

could hack off parts;

or place in zoos, or circuses 

all painted up like tarts;

their ivory IS lovely, yes,

but made for THEM, not you;

they’re much too smart and 

social to be happy in a zoo;

to me, they are the mammal kingdom’s

fairest, finest creatures;

It took great care and patience

to design their lovely features;

with potent cosmic energy 

I danced them into being,

so honor, love and treasure them

and set about their freeing!

A City Girl!

Oh, I’m such a city girl!

I love the lights, the brights, the wining, dining divine nights!

the looks of desire, hearts set afire

taxi gliding, sky scraping spires!

casual flirtations, watering stations

galleries, fashion shows, newest sensations!

champagne, city rain, chats with strangers on a train

Tomorrow, I'll do it all again!

I love the city life!

Upon A Rhino's Lap

My favorite place for perching is upon a rhino’s lap

It’s there I daydream, sing, imagine, read and take a nap.

It’s spacious as a royal mattress, or a sultan’s chair;

and all the while the rhino's giant snout shades me from glare.

A rhino’s faulty eyesight gives a Rhino Sitter clearance

to worry not a tad about one’s looks or one’s appearance.

His mild, placid manner means you seldom need to worry

that he will suddenly aright and take off in a hurry.

I sat upon an ostrich once, but nothing’s more preposterous!

I’m taking no more chances and will stay with my rhinoceros.

And though I’m yet a youngling there’s one thing 

for sure I know;

one’s life passes most pleasantly when

perched on a rhino!

Howard Empty Pockets

This is a quick, collaborative effort, created with friends Hugh Ashton and Peter Sidell, who provided some of the verses.

Howard Empty Pockets

Howard Empty Pockets is forever 

in the red; he used to have a

bit of cash, but bit by bit

it fled.

"Whatever happened to it all?"

He asks in some dismay;

"It's flown to others' hands now, 

all I do is pay and pay!"

"I used to live a life of ease,

and dined on caviar.

But now my daily meal is peas,

and pickles from a jar."

"I drove a fancy Rolls-Royce once,

unlike the rest of us.

But now, I end up walking

or on good days, take the bus."

"I drank from crystal glasses,

and it always was champagne;

but now when I feel thirsty,

I just have to wait for rain."

"My pockets used to jingle

as I strode along the street.

There's nothing now but holes there,

and somehow, that's not so neat."

"When life was good, the ladies

used to swarm 'round me like bees!

But now the only swarms I

ever think about are fleas."

"Alas", he says, "I must adjust 

to my reduced condition."

And bidding me a sad farewell, he heads

back toward the mission.

Dancing Horse

A Touch of Whimsy

The Baby War

Here is my newest video, which is posted on my Youtube page.
The Baby War

I have written a satire, a bit in the manner of Jonathan Swift, or perhaps George Orwell's "Animal Farm". The rhymes, of course, are reminiscent of Dr. Seuss, and perhaps his "The Sneeches" could also be viewed as inspiration.

It's a sad story, but it is a message I feel very strongly about, concerning 'chickenhawk' leaders and the nonsensical things that wars are fought over.

The Baby War

The pleasant hamlet Babytown and quiet town of Babyville

were situated very close and separated by a hill

the babies of both town and ville had lots of things to do

like giggling, bawling, sleeping crawling, playing peek-a-boo

plus pooping, burping, dribbling, slurping, just as babies will

so passed their days, the folks of Babytown and Babyville

The Grand Poo-Bah of Babyville and B Town’s Generalissimo

were hard at work from morn till evening maintaining the status quo

they ordered diapers, baby clothes for tiny girls and boys

pureed bananas, formula and lots of plushy toys

they scheduled bathings, nap times and, of course, some time for play

and issued simple orders even babies could obey

Relations twixt the two town’s heads were cordial, only rarely

most of the time, they’d merely tolerate each other, barely

The General’s bulk procurements caused delivery delays

that left Babyville diaper-less on far too many days!

the Poo-Bah filled his protest screeds with words so poorly chosen

that diplomatic channels ‘tween the burgs were often frozen

yet, long as both men kept their broods on their side of the hill

a fragile peace endured between B-Town and Babyville

 A gala celebration to commemorate its founding

was held in Babyville's town square and areas surrounding

a marching band of babies banged on drums and blew kazoos

Miss Babyville was honored with bronze plated baby shoes

a hundred helium balloons were sent into the air

a  brightly colored spectacle that rose above the square

a red one caught a zephyr and was carried o'er the hill

bearing a bold insignia that said, simply, “Babyville"

As helium diminished the balloon began to fall

it bopped and bobbled down the hill and bumped into a wall

it seemed content to stay there till a passing gust of air

provided one last flight, across the wall, and left it there

ensconced in Babytown, it didn’t take long for the toy

to catch the eyes and interest of a chubby baby boy

who picked it up and mouthed it, squeezed it, rolled it to and fro

then left it at the doorstep of the Generalissimo

“What’s THIS?”, the General bellowed, as his voice began to rise
“They’ve claimed our land; why, I can see it, here, before my eyes!”
“They’ve gone too far! This will not stand!”, and firm in his decision
he quickly penned a missive filled with taunts, threats and derision
when it arrived in Babyville the gala had just ended
The Grand Poo-Bah received it, and was massively offended
“It’s war he wants, eh? Well, by god, he'll have it, then, and soon!
I’ve put up far too long now with this muscle-headed goon!”

The babies gathered in the squares of Babyville and Babytown

and from high podiums both town’s leaders to their people shouted down,

“I didn’t want to choose this option; I’ve been forced into it.

Sometimes a leader’s task is hard, but he must not eschew it.

Our destiny stands at our door! We must be bold, not fear it!"

(both speeches were identical in wording, tone and spirit)

And thence the babies of each town were ushered to a stall

where weaponry long held in store was handed to them all

The babies, rather lost as to the use of sword and shield
toddled behind their leaders and converged upon a field
the two armies faced off, and, to prepare for the attack
both leaders dropped behind to issue orders from the back
“Take heart, my children”, both men shouted, “Glory will be yours!
for history’s tale is one of heroes, victories and wars!”
each diapered soldier, steady as the moment would allow
clung to the silence broken by a fiercely bellowed “NOW!”

Then all was bedlam! Rushing forth in answer to the call
the babes fell fast upon each other like a sudden squall
Innocents until then, having never hurt a fly
their lives now held two options; fight or falter, kill or die
and so they fought; their trusted leaders seeming not to care
that babies screamed in agony and blood was everywhere
and by the time the yellow dawn gave way to drizzling rain
a hundred babes were fallen; dozens wounded, dozens slain

But still their leaders urged them toward the center of the field

“We’ve nearly won! Keep going! Don’t surrender! Never yield!”

And then, before they knew it, they were standing nose to nose

the two men glared and strove to strike a frightening warrior’s pose

but shaky knees and pounding hearts belied their staged temerity

The General, having been exposed, proclaimed with all sincerity,

“I say we end this war!” The  Poo Bah nodded his assent

and each man gave the ceasefire order to his regiment

and with determined voices, told the babies, horrified

the war had been a just one, and its martyrs glorified

The fallen ones were carried back, graves dug and wounds attended

and scars formed o’er the inner wounds that never would be mended

in Babyville a statue was erected in the square

while B’town’s war memorial can be seen from everywhere

in speeches spun to render as a dream the pain of war

the leaders reassured the townsfolk there would be no more

It’s said the wind sounds like the cries of babes high on the hill

that casts dark shadows over Babytown and Babyville