The Deal That Says "Splunge!"

Remember that Monty Python skit

(and if you don't, it's here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v0I4OQi7CQ)

where the Texas movie producer gets a bunch of screenwriters in a room and badgers them all until they are reduced to hiding under the table? The Texas producer actually reminds me a lot of the Tea Baggers. But I digress.

Terry Jones is so terrified of getting axed on the spot he shouts out “Splunge”, and then explains that it means that the idea proposed by the producer might be a terrific idea, but possibly not, and he’s not being a yes-man. Quite a word, splunge! Anyway, saves his neck.

So this deal seems to do that. It saves everybody’s neck, it can and must be leveraged to show just what a toxic element the Tea Bagger (aka The Mice That Roared) caucus is, AND it has something for everybody to hate about it, which means it also has something for everybody to LIKE about it. Except the Bagger Caucus, of course, because they are insane.

What’s more, it’s so confusing you can pretty much spin it any old damn way you want.

Personally, I haven’t quite made up my mind about it, splungily, because I have a hard time seeing how this will all play out in the future. It absolutely MUST be played out in a way that exposes the Baggers for the unreasonable folks they are, and makes them radioactive to all but the most Kool Aid slurping RWers come reelection time.

But I’m guessing I probably never WILL make up my mind about it, because I am pretty sure in the meantime, and not too far off, somebody, somewhere will manufacture the NEXT crisis du jour to seize us all by our craniums.
So, Splunge!

Atlas Buzzed

While scientists remain puzzled as to the cause of the dramatic decline in honeybee populations in North America and elsewhere, some are speculating the cause may very much be human related; however, not technological, but philosophical. It appears that “Randism”, a trend that has recently exploded on the American political landscape may similarly have caught on among our bee brethren. It seems that the reason for the decline of hive populations is that many bees are now practicing “the virtue of selfishness”, keeping the nectar they collect for themselves and not returning to the hives they emerged from. These bees consider the notion that they should return for the benefit of the whole colony “evil altruism” and look down upon the “Hive-ists” who would act for a goal larger than themselves. They argue that “there is no such thing as a species” and that it all comes down to individual bees and their pursuit of their own happiness. When it is pointed out to them that this could result in the extinction of honey bees and have cataclysmic results on worldwide crops, they scoff and say, “and this is my problem how?”

Meanwhile, more religious-minded bees are concerned about how to carry on in the aftermath of what they regard as “The Great Rapture” that has decimated their populations. “Left Bee-hive”, the bee adaptation of the “Left Behind” series of books by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, paints a bleak picture of life on earth after the Chosen Bees have been taken up to their Maker.

So, will it be Rand that the bees turn to, or the Good Book? “Why should I care?”, a distraught bee who agreed to be interviewed for this article lamented. “It’s so hopeless that I just may go off somewhere and sting someone!”

How do you take your tea?

(sung to the melody, with variation, of "L-O-V-E" by Nat King Cole)

B is for the things he wants to Ban;

L is for the Libs who love this man;

A, well that’s for ACORN; neeeeed I even say more, n’

C’s for the Constitution, we have got to save it soon, n’

K is for the Koran he’s reading;

B-L-A-C-K is really not my thing!

(one more time!)

B is for the Birth Certificate he can’t produce, can he?

L is for the Law to whack my Granny;

A’s for ACORN again, so you don’t forget, friend, and

C’s for Communism, NOT the Founding Fathers’ vision!

K is for the way he thinks he’s King;

B-L-A-C-K is really not my thing!

(one more time!)

B’ for Borders that he won’t patrol;

L is for the Lenders on the dole;

A, shout out to ACORN, dabbling in kiddie porn,

and C’s for Competition,THAT’S the thing his program’s missin’

K is for the Kool Aid I’m drinking,

B-L-A-C-K is really not my thing!

It’s not my thing!

It just ain’t my thing!

Shoo be doo wah!